In a space mission gone awry, our hero, Thomas Jefferson, finds himself confined by speaking gorillas. He escapes his cell only to be chased down by two of the prison guards, both angry to not have been born as Americans. Cornered by the beasts, Jefferson pulls out his secret weapon, the Declaration of Independence. As […]
This shirt has the most believable fictitious image you will ever see. “Teddy Roosevelt VS Bigfoot”…I can see it. C’mon, the man would take on former pro boxers while he was in the White House. One encounter left him nearly blind in one eye! He scaled The Matterhorn, a 15,000 ft. Swiss Alp. After his […]
Well this American as F*** tank was a hell of a conversation-starter. We philosophized all kinds of wondrous freedom-injected solutions to the world’s problems. And in the end, an Abraham Lincoln majestically riding his trusty grizzly bear atop an American flag with a machine gun was the ultimate solution. Because in his hand is displayed […]
Regan doubled as an undercover president to get the message across, “Don’t mess with America!” Driving around in his classic American-made Mustang, the president planted bombs to get masses of bad guys. He shot through the front windshield, because it takes too long to stick your gun out the window, plus it’s more awesome to […]
By the power of Ronald Reagan, I deem this shirt American as F***. I haven’t taken this badass ‘Merica tank off since the day I got it. Right out of the package, I felt a surge of Velociraptor fierceness, grabbed my machine gun, and took Raegan out for some shoots and giggles. When I ran […]
“While I purchased this shirt with an understanding that I am misrepresenting the historical events of the Cold War and the tools used by President Ronald Reagan to confront the Soviet Union, I was not entirely prepared for the full extent of glory and status that was to be bestowed upon me. This shirt single-handedly […]
“This shirt is the reason the constitution was written. Now that I have it, the flag waves more gallantly, the stars in the evening sky are brighter, and eagles fly faster than before. Once I laid eyes on this shirt, it was obvious that mother freedom would backhand the tar out of me if I […]
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