This shirt has the most believable fictitious image you will ever see. “Teddy Roosevelt VS Bigfoot”…I can see it. C’mon, the man would take on former pro boxers while he was in the White House. One encounter left him nearly blind in one eye! He scaled The Matterhorn, a 15,000 ft. Swiss Alp. After his […]
They say Ben Franklin didn’t rest while he tried to prove lightning and electricity were related. What he was actually doing was battling Zeus in the name of America. Zeus was upset at our newfound freedom; if people couldn’t control other people then it was only a matter of time before the gods, including himself, […]
“The moment I opened the package and slipped this badass shirt over my Pure bred American body, I instantly felt like a new man. My arms became bigger, my chest swelled out and my genitals tripled in size. As I stood there in front of my mirror with my AR15 in one hand and American […]
In our future post-apocalyptic world, you’ve got to have a good supply of shirts to help you blend in. This FDR tank will be perfect. It will melt into the surrounding devastation, AND it will help show off my f***ing awesome biceps, which will no doubt triple in size. It will be perfect for my […]
The biggest conspiracy from the 1960s isn’t if we put a man on the moon, it’s JFK’s set-up assassination. He knew NASA was on its way to the moon, and he wanted to be there. Although JFK was a great president in his short tenure, he had a higher calling: alien hunter. NASA outfitted him […]
How do you take your Ronald Reagan? At The White House? Perhaps inside Air Force One? Both are appealing, but we’ll do you one better—how about Reagan on the moon? No spacecraft, no spacesuit, no oxygen—no problem. The dude was a Hollywood actor before hitting The Oval Office—as such, he can handle anything the galaxy […]
Well this American as F*** tank was a hell of a conversation-starter. We philosophized all kinds of wondrous freedom-injected solutions to the world’s problems. And in the end, an Abraham Lincoln majestically riding his trusty grizzly bear atop an American flag with a machine gun was the ultimate solution. Because in his hand is displayed […]
“Just when I thought Dubya couldn’t get any more American, now I get to see him skydiving while riding a shark every time I look in the mirror. Every. Time. Yes, that means I wear it more than I should in order for it to remain clean and yes, it stinks more than his foreign […]
A true-to-life depiction of the day George Washington crossed the Delaware. This shirt includes the stuff history books forgot — bald eagles with freakin’ laser beams for eyes. All products are printed in the U.S.A. All of our products are custom-made-to-order and handcrafted to the highest quality standards. Shipping Info Orders ship within 5 to […]
By the power of Ronald Reagan, I deem this shirt American as F***. I haven’t taken this badass ‘Merica tank off since the day I got it. Right out of the package, I felt a surge of Velociraptor fierceness, grabbed my machine gun, and took Raegan out for some shoots and giggles. When I ran […]
