Donald Pump

“I purchased this shirt thinking it would be funny to wear to the gym every once in a while and make some people laugh. Boy did I underestimate the power of this tank. The first day I wore the tank to the gym, I got there at about 5am and as I was walking in the front door I looked up and the stars aligned into a perfect American flag. I was like wow, I’ve never seen that constellation before but it just made sense to me. So I got into the gym and walked over to the bench to start my chest workout. I threw 225 lbs on there because something just told me it would be the perfect warm up weight, my normal warm up is usually 135 lbs. I threw that weight up for 45 times like I was lifting feathers instead of hard, cold, steel. I couldn’t believe what was happening! So I walked over to the dumbbells and picked up the 150lbs ones, because once again it just felt right. As I was pushing the dumbbells like teddy bears into the air, Mr. Trump appeared floating above me and said “We will make America Strong again” I said yes sir, and threw the dumbbells through the roof of the gym. I walked out of the gym that day to the sun rising, a bald eagle landed on my shoulder and pyrotechnics started going off behind me. Long story short, I’ve gained 100 lbs of solid muscle and have to fight the women off of me. Buyer beware, your life will never be the same.”

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